CW: Suicidal ideation It has been several months since I last posted – there has been a lot going on. It’s coming up to a year since I started this blog. I was in a desperately dark place when I began. On reflection, many, many things have changed in that year, but I still findContinue reading “Vulnerability”
Author Archives: hicallmespike
Intermittent Fasting for Beginners – New Year Challenge (Feb)
So it’s just into March and time for an update on how things went in February. It’s time for an update on my ‘gentle’ weight loss challenge. The challenge is taking up intermittent fasting for beginners. That’s because, if you recall, I wanted to ease into things, focusing on improving my behaviours after a ChristmasContinue reading “Intermittent Fasting for Beginners – New Year Challenge (Feb)”
Intermittent Fasting for Beginners – New Year Challenge
Well, hasn’t January just flown by?! No? Me neither. But here we are in February nonetheless. It’s time for an update on my ‘gentle’ weight loss challenge. Really, it’s intermittent fasting for beginners. That’s because, if you recall, I wanted to ease into things, focusing on improving my behaviours after a Christmas of binge-eating andContinue reading “Intermittent Fasting for Beginners – New Year Challenge”
Being a Dad with complex PTSD – when rage takes over
TW: child abuse, suicidal thoughts I’m a Dad with complex PTSD. I suffer terribly with depression, shame, rage, self-loathing, anxiety, self-harm, avoidance, paranoia, a bunch of other stuff. But I am trying to raise a child, and to do the best job possible. I am trying my hardest to break the cycle of abuse thatContinue reading “Being a Dad with complex PTSD – when rage takes over”
You need to grow up!
Trigger warning: mentions child abuse, being a parent with cPTSD You need to grow up! It’s a phrase, with many variations, I must have heard a thousand times when I was a child. It’s a phrase so ingrained in me that I still say it in my own head, and today I caught myself sayingContinue reading “You need to grow up!”
Should I take up therapy again?
I know it’s a new year, but it really actually feels new right now, and that’s because a few things are really quite different to how they were just 3 or 4 weeks ago. My therapist, who I had been seeing for 7 months, and who had been helping me make progress with EMDR, announcedContinue reading “Should I take up therapy again?”
New Year, New Challenge
Happy New Year. Now that’s out of the way (and the less said about the holiday season the better) let’s get on with things. I am actually feeling pretty determined right now. This time last year I probably felt marginally worse mentally than I do now, but the difference in 2022 is going to beContinue reading “New Year, New Challenge”
The trouble with end of year
Trigger warnings: narcissistic parents, child abuse, suicidal ideation It has been a while since I last posted. I think the main reason for that is the feeling that my posts aren’t really worthwhile. Either i’ve got nothing new to say, or I don’t think anyone will read it or care. There has been the subtleContinue reading “The trouble with end of year”
The Inner Critic
It’s a voice we probably all know, though I can only speak for myself. For as long as I can remember, it has been the default setting to hold myself to account for my mistakes, to strive to be better – at least, that’s what I thought I was doing. Only since starting therapy 2Continue reading “The Inner Critic”
Time for a new challenge
If you’ve been following my blog from the beginning, you will know that it formed part of a multi-pronged attack on 9 months of depression and anxiety. Alongside the blog was a weight-loss challenge, powered mainly by fasting and intermittent fasting. You may also have noticed that i’ve gone extremely quiet on this front forContinue reading “Time for a new challenge”
Fasting and Fuming 